Aug. 17, 2021

Marcia Kozera/ Lighthouse HR- Sexually Harassed....by the HR Manager!?!

http://www.lighthousehrgroup.com/ 0:01 the story of the HR manager sexually harassing the HR department 0:09 This was in a hospital. 0:57 This was the HR director. 1:20 he would follow her and he would close the door behind him. 1:52 this guy's...


http://www.lighthousehrgroup.com/

0:01 the story of the HR manager sexually harassing the HR department
0:09 This was in a hospital.
0:57 This was the HR director.
1:20 he would follow her and he would close the door behind him.
1:52 this guy's literally using company email
there's being inappropriate is one thing, being dumb on top of it all
3:19 he was very intimidating.
4:54 "Did you do anything to lead him on?"

Transcript

Jeff Sterns  0:00  
Do you mind sharing the story of the HR manager sexually harassing the HR department, please?

Unknown Speaker  0:08  
Absolutely. This was in a hospital. And this was in my early HR years in my early HR career. So you figure a problem in 1999, one of those women in the HR department was me. So it was I was the trainer. What we were sharing about before is this department was four people, the HR director, this is a big private hospital in Costa Rica, the department had a payroll girl, receptionist secretary, and myself, and I was a trainer development, the development person. And so we didn't know that he was being highly inappropriate with each of us, because we wouldn't talk about it. Because this was the HR department. This was the HR director. And I always knew that I could hold my own, so I could just kind of handle things. What I was sharing before was the secretary would, he would send her back in the file room, which was a separate room that would lock to protect everybody's all employee files, and he would send her in there, and then he would follow her and he would close the door behind him. And he would literally leave her in there, like locker. And she was petrified. He would corner her touch her. And she would tell her that nobody would believe her. And she did. She had crazy anxiety over it. She developed like, stomach issues, ulcers and stuff. And then Meanwhile, he was sending me very inappropriate emails, pictures. And, you know, and I'm like, how are you know, this guy's literally using company email to send me this kind of stuff, you know, like that stays there. So I ignored him. For the most part,

Jeff Sterns  2:01  
there's being inappropriate is one thing, being dumb on top of it all

Unknown Speaker  2:04  
dumb, completely dumb. I remember, it was my birthday. Once he sent me these flowers, and he biggest roses came to my office. And he said, You know, I want you so bad if you just go out with me. And I was like, holy cow. And next thing, you know, a piece of wife walks in the office to go see him. And she's like, Oh, my confidence. Roses are beautiful. Who are they from? And I said some idiot out there. And I said, I really loud so he could hear so he was just annoying, to where I was like, Okay, this is enough. Now, her she, she came forward, finally she couldn't take it anymore. She was she was missing work. She didn't want to see him. And so when finally when she said something, we all got together, and we're like, wait a minute, like, this is happening to you. He was he was just trying different things with everybody to see, I guess where he would, you know, where how far he would go. But since

Jeff Sterns  3:07  
he was doing it with all these people, I mean, not to take any compliments away from you that you didn't deserve the flirting from the mirror guy? No. Is this like a validation thing when it's kind of going on with everybody?

Unknown Speaker  3:19  
You know, I think a lot of times like you are that's a whole other podcast that I can go on forever. But I do feel like sometimes. There's some kind of brokenness in there that makes you need. Yeah, I guess that's that validation or, you know, knowing that you can, you know, you got it, if you want it you got it or, or I don't know that in that case, he was very intimidating. He was trying to intimidate a lot. So

Jeff Sterns  3:50  
well, and that's not validation. I mean, if it's through intimidation, that's not like right now. Mm hmm. That's a different, right.

Unknown Speaker  3:58  
Yeah, it's a different thing. And I think that was that it was interesting. But he was, he denied it. He was like, I mean, if he could deny copies of emails, I think that was the tough part. You know, because he couldn't, he denied the girl in the in the file room, which was terrible, because I feel like her her situation was the worst of all. But I had emails. So you know, it was you know, maybe it was meant to be that way so that he could get terminated because he was really, really messed with her. It was really bad. Well,

Jeff Sterns  4:34  
I mean, I couldn't even imagine and you know, like, I have two sons, 18 and 21. And, I mean, I'll just say it, there's a double standard. I have a daughter now I have a nine year old daughter. And when I hear your story now it hits me a whole different way if it was her at work, feeling sick about going to work, etc.

Unknown Speaker  4:54  
degrees, a double standard for sure. And you know, like I don't blame I mean, at least in my my club. It's very traditional. And I remember that when I told my dad, what was happening, I was only 2021. I remember when I told him, and I said, this guy's really in trouble because I printed all these emails. And you know, the first thing that he asked me was, um, well, did you do anything to like? Did you do anything to lead him on? That was this question, almost like do? Did you look for it? You know? And I was like, No, no, even if you know what to say, like, no. And why would my dad ask that? And, and I think, as a guy, he was more like, I, my dad's a retired doctor, love him. He loves me. But it's that culture. It's that culture of like, you had a man fired. You know, you had this you had your boss fired? Are you sure you didn't do anything to provoke this? You know? So? It's kind of interesting. You know? Well, I

Jeff Sterns  5:56  
mean, on one hand, that could be disappointing. Like, oh, for my dad even asked that question. But at the same time, when my sons come to me, or my wife comes to me with an issue with somebody else, I asked them where they stand in the equation to make sure they're not just the hero in their own story, which people can do. Absolutely. you're capable of that, right. Absolutely. And that is true. So it could have just been, hey, were you flirtatious? And then you weren't interested anymore? Or not? Maybe just trying to raise you just trying to have you checked in with yourself on that. That may not have been probably what he meant, you know, where you like, as a father, I could see doing that. And that doesn't mean that I don't believe in my daughter, but at the same time, where are you in this potentially? Yeah, and once I told her, you know, and once I told him a show in a minute, the messages He's like, Oh, yeah. This has been Jeff Sterns connected through cars.

Marcia J. Kozera

Owner

Human Resources Executive with over 20 years of experience in all HR related areas, specializing in leadership development, training and consulting. Leadership and relationship coach.